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The two services used by these individuals were OKCupid and Match.com, two of the largest and most popular dating websites on the Internet.
Anonymous Woman (AW): I can’t remember the exact year I signed up… Actually, now that I think about it, that was how most of the messages I got started.It made me SO uncomfortable that guys so much older than me, older than most of my siblings (all of which are 8 years plus older than me), were sending me messages telling me that I was “hot”.I am getting terribly uncomfortable just thinking about it.In hindsight, I suppose if I had stayed active with it for a little longer MAYBE I would have encountered a “nice” guy.I have to mention that I did get maybe a message or two from guys that seemed okay, but once I checked out their profiles, it didn’t seem like we had anything in common so I didn’t bother.This experience is best exemplified by my close friend who I will call Eric.
Eric has been using a couple of online dating websites off and on for the past year, with very little success.
Also, some of the messages I got were from a few guys that ranged from early 40’s to late 40’s and I was maybe 19 at the time.
That was one of the main reasons I called it quits.
Being a nice guy is probably the worst thing to be when it comes to online dating.
You are a little more than collateral damage, as the large majority of guys slather, drool and stomp their way through the crowds, scaring off most of the nice girls that arrive on these sites, as evidenced by the interview above.
Personally, I think there is so much more to be gained from talking with someone face to face – you are able to read their body language and listen to intonation in their voice, which are much better indicators than online messages or profiles. You’re much more likely to get past the initial message if you can get a girl to first start talking to you based on interests.