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But just as quickly I can go on about Madonna, musicals and overall topics of a fabulous nature, all while flipping my wrist and wearing a pink tie with matching pink socks (and a hot pink pen) and the next question they’ll ask me is “oh do you like Madonna because she’s so hot?
This complete lack of representation might also explain why so many people in Japan lack any sort of “gaydar” whatsoever. I’m a big guy, got a deep voice, I can talk about sports, action movies and dudely things that dudes do.I do not claim my experience to be typical of any other GLBT person in this country, and I don’t expect it to be.What I’m basically saying is that no matter what I say, don’t take it to be gospel for every other gay person’s experience in Tokyo.In my experience, most gay men in Japan are simply not interested in gaijin. As you can probably imagine “gay men who can speak English and want to be in a committed relationship with foreigners” is a pretty small group of people.I tried the gay bars for a while and even some dating sites and services, but any man I met at either was only ever interested in a one night stand.Pushes for gay marriage to be legalized are picking up steam, and I’ve even talked to straight people who were adamant in their support for it.
If you’re a gay foreigner and you’re thinking about coming to Tokyo to work, don’t worry, you’ll be safe and most likely have no problems fitting in and making friends. I’m going to keep this rather brief because A: my mom reads this and B: I’ve never been good at dating anyone of any gender ever in any country, but dating as a gay man in Tokyo is rough. And many who are simply don’t speak enough English to make any kind of serious relationship a possibility.
You seem very close.” He was not asking us a leading question, or making any accusation.
He just saw two men holding hands and hugging in a bar and thought “wow, they must be really good friends.” In fact, when I told the man, in plain and easy-to-understand English that the man I was with was my boyfriend, he replied by saying “you’re very close to your boss!
” His brain replaced the word “boyfriend” with “boss” because he just didn’t expect to hear it.
After he figured it out though he was still very friendly, just confused.
Actually, I think “friendly, but confused” could easily sum up most of the reactions I’ve had in coming out in Japan.