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The former acknowledges that the child already figured out the problem, but is still comforting.
Second, it ignores your responsibility to deal with the issue at hand and passes it to someone else.
When I think about all of the phrases, anecdotes, and sayings about the power of the spoken word I am reminded of how I changed my way of communicating with children upon learning Play Therapy principles.
I realize that using Play Therapy based language is a learned and practiced skill that requires time and effort, so I thought it would be helpful to share ten commonly used phrases parents say to their kids.
” This gives the child respect and responsibility for their actions.
I can’t tell you the number of times I hear that phrase when around other parents, even though it is highly ineffective.
This clearly communicates the expectation and the consequence, without a threat.
Parents tend to want control all of the time, and it takes work to allow kids to have freedom to do what they choose.
Train yourself to acknowledge their behavior without a judgment, such as “You chose to sit the other way on the chair” or “You colored the grass purple instead”.
This gives them the freedom to be creative and discover things without expectations.
Choose whether the other person really needs to know about the issue, and if yes, let the child decide who will tell them.
“Do you choose to tell (Mom) what happened, or choose for me to tell her with you there to make sure that I explain it correctly?
So, you can say “Walk, please” instead of “No running”. Children are programmed to question, analyze and wonder about situations.