Dating older men and women
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‘I was so torn about this’ she says ‘I still am sometimes. It’s always the case in films, older men having their pick of younger women’.Indeed, there is a definite imbalance when an older man dates a younger woman that, as a woman, it can be hard to shake.
‘He’s really kind and right on and never a twat compared to some of my friend’s partners, who are their own age’.Over the course of your twenties, you’ll almost definitely have been told ‘you need an older man’ at some point by a well-meaning friend or relative unless, of course, you’re already dating one.The mythologising of older men is at once frustrating and intriguing in equal measure: they’re often referred to as ‘silver foxes’ and ‘dad or shags’.Susan thinks there’s definitely an issue with younger men today behaving badly because dating apps and bro culture endorse it.Initially, Susan says, she resisted the idea of dating someone older than her because of the cliché factor. I can’t stand it…that recent thing with Brad Pitt being linked to Ella Purnell, who is 21 and looks exactly like a young Angelina Jolie made me furious.In evolutionary terms, Professor Fugere says that for men it is, simply, about ‘ensuring that a prospective partner is fertile’ while women consider the resources an older man might have ‘such as income’.
‘An older partner may be in a better position to provide stability, he may also be more mature which a woman might prefer’, she explains.
She added that, following extensive research in this area, she discovered that guys who were 40 were also ‘in general, better in bed, had their own place, made excellent breakfasts, were never a dick about it if you didn’t want to see them again and don’t mind when you get pissed and called them 15 times in a row at 4 AM.
Often, they also had cool mid-century furniture in their flats as opposed to Ikea and would make you a martini if you booty called them after the pub’.
Daisy is now married; her husband is 17 years older than her.
We tend to portray older men as more romantic, wiser and kinder.
An age gap can be good, it can be bad and it can be downright creepy.